Longing For
by whenwillwedance
Summary: Two people. Two different worlds. Two different lives. Destined for failure. This is the story of two people longing for love, with each other. And only each other. Octavia/Lincoln
1. Never

**Chapter 1: Never**

**Octavia**

The moment he left, my heart broke. Leaving me only with a kiss to remember him by. And a name.

Lincoln.

A grounder. I can't believe it, out of all the people, Octavia! Why him?

That was a very good question. But a very difficult one to answer. Was it the way he looked at me, with his beautiful dark eyes observing my every movement or was it the intensity of every stolen moment that I had spent with him? Whatever it was it's impossible to deny my feelings, no matter who they're for and no matter who will object. It's simple. This man, this grounder might be holding my heart.

No, Octavia. Get a hold of yourself! You can't be blurting out confessions like that now that you know you'll probably never see him again. Wait, I'm never going to see him again. Never. I hate that word, there's no leverage, it's so definite: Never.

But that kiss. It was so passionate and spontaneous, it was the kind of kiss, teenage girls dream about their whole lives. And I got to experience it first hand, it was, dare I say, extremely and utterly romantic. Wow! I honestly thought I would never, ever long for such a pathetic thing like romance.

It just goes to show that things can surprise you. People can surprise you. And the word 'never' should not be said often, because it gives you no freedom. I need freedom. Too bad Bellamy won't give me any. He's always peering over my shoulder judging my every action, and it annoys me to death. Leave me alone! Let me live my damned life without you! Sometimes I hate him. I honestly HATE him. He's so stupid sometimes, using his biceps to solve everything. Aggression and stupidity solves nothing and at this very moment in time Bellamy is full of both these traits.

Tears fill my eyes, knowing what Bellamy did to get barely useful information out of him. He tortured him, ignoring my pleas. And then Clarke and Raven decide to show up and get in on the action. They're all jerks, Finn's boring and he's screwing both of them anyway. Cheater. Who cares if he dies? Certainly not me. But Clarke controls everything with her irritating voice and exaggerative forehead wrinkles so whatever she says goes. Whatever, I'm sick of everyone, the only good people out here are Monty and Jasper. They seem to actually have that vital organ called the heart. It's so rare to find these days. What a shame.

"Octavia?" Great, it's Bellamy, "Are you still awake in there?"

"Hmm..." I groan as if I had just awoke, "I guess I am now."

My brother crouches, his expression, aware, as always. "You weren't asleep were you?" The corners of his mouth lift, displaying a slight smile, "You can't fool me, no matter how hard you try, Octavia, it won't work." He chuckles, rubbing my head and messing up my hair as if I were a dog.

Bellamy stands and heads away from my hammock and swerves his way out of all the sleeping bodies on their mattresses. He was in an obvious good mood. But he didn't deserve to be.

"I'm still mad at you." I voice, before he can duck out of the tent. He turns, slow and steady but still with a cocky grin spread across his face. "That wasn't necessary and you know it. I will never forgive you for what you have done. That was cruel." My tone goes cold and harsh, I won't let him think that I have forgotten that quickly. I won't give him the power he wants.

His smile disappears in an instant, recognising the seriousness in my voice. He does not respond though, just exits and leaves me alone back to my thoughts.

My eyelids become heavy and difficult to keep up and the snores from my fellow criminals disrupts my relaxation. As much as I would prefer to be awake, I am tired and I have a feeling Bellamy will come again soon to check on whether I had fallen into slumber. I didn't feel like talking to him anymore. I felt like dreaming. Dreaming of a better place where the word 'never' didn't exist and I was free to do whatever I want whenever I wanted without anyone observing.

If only.

As my body shut down and repositioned for comfort, I couldn't help but repeat his name that swirled in my mind endlessly.

Lincoln.

If only.

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**Author's Note: This is my first fanfiction and I'm planning on doing altering perspectives each chapter. Please tell me what you think and all constructive criticism will be taken into account. Also give me any suggestions as well. Because I'm new to this and I'll need all the help I can get lol! (:**


	2. Accept

**Chapter 2: Accept**

**Lincoln**

The sweet sting that she left on my lips still remains. I cannot see how I managed to walk away from her. It was apparent that she and I would never be. And that was the reality. The awful reality.

When she had cut the ropes that tied me to the hard, stone floor ever so courageously, I had admired her audacity, I mean, I would've done the same thing for her but she was clever. Freeing me when everyone was intoxicated, so that they would not notice me leave, it seemed that she had cared.

But the man who faced me wasn't drugged. He saw me. His awareness confused me. Had she lied to me? Set me up? He stood there, eyebrows raised, and so I left, before he could realize. My nerves settled when I left their base, but there was a slight tinge in my stomach that warned me to lay low and don't run, no matter what happened. Although running would get me safe and back to my people where I truly belong faster, I couldn't risk being captured by the intruders once more. I would be tortured once again and it would be excruciatingly painful, I can imagine the boy with the arrogant demeanor and the wide stance, who claimed to be Octavia's brother, slashing myself across the chest with the orange whip, tearing at my skin with all his might. I must admit; I was stubborn and I had brought it to myself. But I was given orders, ones that I could not disobey.

_The ball of flame fell from the sky, crushing our eardrums and frightening the children. I had dismounted my horse, Uggvi, at the time and instantly pressed against the firm body that he held, to shield my ears from exposure to the deafening sound. Uggvi stood his ground and protected me, as only a loyalty like him would do._

_After the flame was difficult to seek through the trees, our leader spoke with anger and cowardice, his words ring every time I witness something I have never before. "That was not Mother Nature, my people, something, someone planned this attack, and they know we are here. But we are stronger and we stand with pride. To protect our children we must rid all the mercy still left in our souls and defeat all foreigners we might come across, and don't stop, until their hearts have done so."_

I should not have allowed her to be my weakness so easily. A man should've died. One more dead, another death closer to eliminating all foreigners left walking on Earth. These people who fell from the sky through the ball of flame, they shouldn't be here, this is our land, we had taken care of it, who do they think they are landing and roaming in our home. But her, she was just so beautiful and I can't manage to see how any other man could refuse her. And as I walk through the still, eerie forest ahead of me, I contemplate sprinting as fast as my legs can take me, back to the campsite just to see her again. One last time. Before I reached my people who couldn't care less about my disappearance. They didn't even try to find me. And besides, none of them had her eyes. Those eyes. Those gorgeous eyes, I could look at them, and only them for years and years and never take the slightest movement, as that would risk not being able to find that sparkle that hid inside, waiting for that perfect moment, a kiss wasn't enough to keep me standing. I needed her in my presence. Something could happen to her; she could fall and wound herself again. I couldn't let that happen. Her safety was worth fighting for. Because without her what is left in me?

That's what I would do. I would reach camp and reassure them, like I would if they cared, that I was in good health and my absence was spent roaming the forest for any foreigners who could risk our safety and then I would leave for the last time and make them assume that I had passed away to a place that everyone was still curious about. Then I would search for Octavia. Octavia, what a name. And take her to a place where we can stay forever from the madness of this planet. And she would accept. At least that's what I believe. Scratch that Lincoln! Stop Dreaming! You know she might not even care; you saw her roaming with the butterflies as you sketched her appearance, as they landed on her forearms and surrounded her beauty. You saw her when the strange man appeared behind her and placed his wicked lips on hers. And she accepted. She had accepted him. How could she accept that man? He was thin, weak, and lanky, I could spear him through the heart in a matter of seconds with barely a counter-attack on his behalf. BUT she responded to my kiss, OK I'm not gonna lie that at first she did hesitate but she kissed me back and she didn't seem to care for our obvious differences, it left me with hope, that she would remember me. And that's all I could ask for, because every plan I devise in my brain for our freedom has a flaw and they're all flaws that have dangerous consequences that take effect immediately. My people are selfish, as much as they try to disguise it, they don't care for the children, and it's all an excuse to see blood on their hands. They love it. They love the sight of their victim's pupils rolling backwards until they are not visible. I did too, once, before I was humane and when their influence didn't affect me. Before my eyes had set on her. I have no family, to care for, that doesn't exist in our culture. The moment you were born you were alone. Protected by the elders, but they were never family. We only reproduce to strengthen numbers. It leaves me empty, and alone. I feel like I am always searching for someone or something to fill that hole that remains in my heart today.

But I was still one of them.

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**Author's Note: OK, I'm not going to write chapter 3 until I see episode 9 tomorrow and then I'll either be ecstatic or really disappointed with the amount of Linctavia scenes in the episode! I wanted to say thank you as well to all the people who reviewed my first two chapters or are currently following my story or favourited it. It seriously means SO much to me that people are liking my story and I love it when I get comments! Thank you guys SO much, you should expect chapter 3 on Friday. til next time xxx**


	3. Sundown

**Chapter 3: Sundown**

**Bellamy**

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**Author's Note: OK, so in terms of Linctavia, I was really disappointed that they had sex in this episode, the director's seriously have no idea what they are doing! It actually makes this fanfiction harder to write because they've ruined it! Whatever, nothing's going to stop me though. 'Longing For' will prevail!**

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In the midst of all the ruckus that surrounded me, my eyes were eager to follow Octavia's swift movements. I've got to admit, I raised her well; she was fast, faster than my eyes could track and the absent-minded teenagers that blocked my vision became a hideous barrier and made it near impossible to find her. Once I knew that I had lost her, my head lifted to observe the time of day: sundown. Where could she possibly need to rush off to at sundown? Ugh, why bother? She's probably off with Jasper anyway teaching him how to eliminate that scaredy-cat look on his face whenever he sees the unexpected. How hard could it be? I mean, I understand he got stabbed and everything but he can't even stand on his own two feet without reassurance from Monty that feet-ground contact is perfectly harmless. He's giving everyone a damn headache. So if she's off teaching him, that's completely fine by me, as long as he doesn't pull any of his hand-me-down pick up lines that he probably stole from his old man.

My leather jacket tightened and I was suddenly forced to abandon my observation of camp to turn around and face my patron.

Clarke.

"Princess, don't you have better things to do than bother me at this time of day. I'm sure if Finn's not naked in the tent over there with Raven, he'll be overjoyed to speak to you, I however am not."  
She scowled and furrowed her brows, wrinkling her forehead as she always does every single bloody day that we've spent down here. Oh! And how surprising she's about to open her mouth. A chuckle escapes me accidentally and I realise it was a mistake to do so once I witness her reaction.  
"What is so funny!" Clarke asks impatiently, "I haven't even said anything!" She's worried now, I can see it in her expression, "Stop laughing! What the hell is wrong with you?!"  
I struggle to get a word out, I'm choking on my spit. She never understands, and that's what makes it so damn funny. My laughter would have stopped by now if it wasn't for her questioning.  
"You know what?" Clarke voices with a hint of anger in her tone, instead of frustration, "My planned conversation is not worth it if this is what I get!"  
I feel the slight vibration as she stomps her foot, as if she were a spoilt child, refusing to eat the pickles in her burger, and storms off towards the tent I had pointed out to her earlier. I have kept my smile and it widens when I realise that she's probably going to give me the silent treatment tomorrow and I won't play along, leaving her to her own embarrassment.

Things had begun to become rather boring around here. Murphy isn't here so there isn't any violent drama to worry about, only teenage drama between that stupid love triangle that no one cares about, everyone is pulling their weight around camp, so there's no one to yell at, which is really disappointing on my side of the spectrum. Finn sucks. Raven sucks. Jasper's a chicken and he gets on my nerves frequently enough to not bother with casual conversation. Monty, well, don't think I've actually ever spoken to him, ugh, can't be bothered. The only thing that's the least bit interesting is my non-existing friendship with Clarke Griffin, and now that she's gone to be all sappy and overdramatic with Finn, I'm left here with absolutely nothing to do but sit on a terribly carved log and look at the stars.

On the Ark, I remember Octavia used to drag me into the living room to watch all these sentimental chick flick romance films alongside her and they always had the main couple lying down on the grass, in the middle of a place not specified, but they just happen to be there at the perfect time of night to see all the stars showing off their "beauty" in the night sky. Then, all of a sudden, one of them has this obsession with stars ever since they were a little kid and so they start to name all of them and apparently that's completely romantic so then they make out...

Yeah, extremely realistic. Standing here, looking at all of them in the sky, I realise there is nothing special or beautiful about them at all, they're just tiny white dots taking up a small portion of the darkness that surrounds us. The moon though, in my opinion, is pretty brilliant, it changes shape, it illuminates the sky way more efficiently than any of the stars do and it follows you everywhere guiding you, lighting your way so you can properly see in the darkness that forbids you to. It seemed that the moon was an ally to The Hundred and has really assisted us when we were without an alternative light source.

"You alright there, Bell?" A seductive voice asked from afar, "You seem kind of dazed."  
To be honest, I didn't know who was speaking to me, she had coal coloured hair and luscious tanned skin and green eyes that glimmered wickedly.  
"Do I know you?" I asked politely in confusion. There are a hundred teenage criminals down here, it was impossible to know the names of every single one of them. I felt shamed for asking though, as I was the leader, I should be accustomed to know all my patrons.

I didn't receive a name though or a handshake as I thought I would have. No the chick slapped me across the face, for no apparent reason. I don't know your name! Who cares! Why the hell did you have to slap me for?!

I asked her just that before she could leave, but she did so anyway, storming off as Clarke had done ever so well only minutes before. I was dumbfounded, I made a mental note to remember her face to track down tomorrow and punish her.

My vengeful planning was cut short when Jasper approached me unexpectedly.  
"Ey, Jasper, what you want?" I was sick of people talking to me now, and I wanted to get this over and done with so I could set off for sleep. Jasper better make it quick, for his own sake.  
"Hey, don't need to get angry buddy, just wanted to ask you something that's all." His smile irritated me as I had become impatient and grumpy due to lack of sleep.  
"Well...what is it, man?" The guy was pushing me over the edge.  
He finally realised that I wasn't in the best of moods so he hurried his reply, "I was just wondering where Octavia was, that's all she hasn't been here since sundown, it's strange, she's usually hanging around campfire."

Wait a second. I'm talking to Jasper. Which means Octavia's not talking to Jasper. He's been here the whole time and I haven't even thought about where that might leave Octavia to be.

Crap. You're the stupidest brother on the face of the Ark, how the hell could you have not realised that Jasper's been here the whole entire time.

"Samson, Thad, Harris, grab your torches now, and meet me at the exit north of camp."

I had broken my promise that I had made to my mother the year my little sister was evident in my mother's tummy.

I had lost her.

Crap.

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**Author's Note: Did you guys like Bellamy's point of view? I sure enjoyed writing it! I think I might make this fanfiction both a Linctavia and Bellarke fanfic. If that's crazy stupid please tell me in the comments because I don't want to stuff this up!**


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